This just in ---
Office intern spills the entire contents of a Diet Dr. Pepper down her white blouse ---
An eye-witness reports that it was a move, quote, executed with all the grace of a drunken elephant, end quote ---
The assembled wet t-shirt panel has awarded her an average score of 8.5 Golden Knockers out of a possible 10, which would have been a 9 except for the hold-out Russian judge ---
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