When Traditional Derogatory Slang Just Won't Do

I’ve certainly learned quite a lot at my job this summer; legal, cultural or otherwise. For one, the flavor of local vernacular has taught me much about the, errr, adaptability of the English language. Verily, the possibilities for English bastardization are endless! And lest you think I’m some sort of poseur who picked up saying y’all over just the last two months or because Britney Spears sounds so darn classy when she says it, keep in mind my Southern belle of a Mama and that I spent my early, formidable verbal years living in the fine states of Georgia and Virginia.

However, I also like to think perhaps I’ve made some small contributions of my own on the job. Witness these two vocabulary gems, which I don’t claim necessarily as copyrighted originals, but certainly as having introduced them to my co-workers, who have adopted them lovingly as their own:

Assification: the process by which something or someone becomes that which resembles the human posterior; and

Skanktankerous: a state of irritability or unruliness by a person(s) of unsavory character or questionable moral fiber.