Weighty Matters

It’s no secret that I’m on a “wedding diet”. To be more accurate, however, the truth is a lot more specific: I’m pretty much on a “my entire life diet”. Because, whether I am purposefully attempting to shed some targeted pounds or not, every waking day of my life is spent fretting over the rolls of my belly and jiggle of my thighs. I am not proud of it but that’s about as honest as I can be.

I know that I am not obese, so don’t put me down for a total case of Body Dysmorphic Disorder. And, believe me, I know there is nothing more banal and tiresome than a girl bitching about wanting to lose weight. Rest assured me, that isn’t the point of this post.

My point is that I, like almost any honest girl I know, think about my body and my weight and what that means to me, to men and to the people in society who I imagine might be judging me all the time. And especially right now, as I attempt for the forty-millionth time to lose “those last ten pounds”.

With that in mind, my REAL point is this: a few days ago I stumbled across an old friend, Joy Nash online. I grew up with Joy and her brother, Josh; we attended the same Christian elementary school, Evangelical church and youth group for many years in Southern California. She has always been a remarkably talented actress, taking parts in every school or church play I can remember and was one of the die-hards of the RHS drama department. She went on to study Theatre at USC. Sadly, the last time I saw her was at the funeral of a mutual friend several years ago.

Joy, as I just discovered, has become something of a YouTube sensation for her satirical monologue “Fat Rant”. In it, she is utterly hilarious and yet unnervingly honest in offering her thoughts and observations about being fat in America. There is a lot of “be fat and proud” propaganda out there, but I have never seen anyone discuss “weighty” issues with so much panache and clarity, while being both dignified and self-effacing at the same time.

Of course I’m biased, because we used to eat popsicles together on the play-ground. Go ahead and judge for yourself:

Her video has been viewed nearly one million times since its spring debut on YouTube- making it one of the Most Viewed Items of the year. You can read about Joy's success in the NY Times and the LA Times. I even caught her feature segment on Entertainment Tonight last week- she was great! I’m incredibly proud of such a hometown success story but am not surprised in the least. She has always been this bad-ass.

Seeing Joy’s “Fat Rant” made me think long and hard about how I let my body define me. Shamefully, I admit to thoughts like “if my body was perfect so many things in my life would seem better”. It’s such a lie. My body is healthy and I am one of the very fortunate ones in this world to be able to say that. Of course, I am still going to care how I look in my wedding dress come October, that can scarcely be helped. But in the midst of trying to lose just a few a pounds, its all-to-easy to lose a whole of perspective along with them.