Every third Monday (at least in my neighborhood) the city unleashes its most powerful nuisance, the street cleaners. Everyone must move their car by 8am or be ticketed and towed. Doesn’t seem like too much to ask for de-cluttered gutters, does it? And a lot of us city-folk don’t even have cars, so there’s no big problem, right?
WRONG! Because they don’t just tow the lingering autos straight-away, pocket the fines for the city coffers (or their corrupt off-shore accounts), and move along their merry way. Instead they send around, what I have dubbed, "the Gestapo Wagon", at the ass-crack of dawn. From this hate-mobile, a terrifying robot-man voice booms from a bull-horn, “Attention! Street cleaning! All cars will be tagged and towed” over and over again. It then circles the block not once but many, many times. Just in case the deafening loud-speaker didn’t properly jolt you from a peaceful slumber the first four or five times.
It doesn’t matter if you have a car, it doesn’t matter if every car on the block is gone- the Gestapo Wagon will not be silenced. Every single month, without fail, it scares the ever-living frijoles out of me. It’s supposed to be a “nice” service, meant to spare morons who shouldn’t have a car in the city in the first place and then forget about street-cleaning the nuisance of a ticket coupled with a morning at the tow lot, but there has got to be a better way! A way, perhaps, that doesn’t send me scrambling out of bed in my underwear to hurriedly pack my most-treasured personal effects in a knapsack before they drag me off in the wagon to the refugee camp - for paranoid, under-slept lawyer-types in their mid-twenties.
1 comment:
Oh my goodness! The Gestapo Wagon sounds horrible! And every third week? Ridiculous! Also, I miss you too and want to hang out soon! If only I wasn't a slave to time, money and school.
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