Bye Bye Blackberry

Today I had to schlep into the financial district, back to the Death Star, ahem, I mean, my former place of employment to hand over the few remaining firm items in my possession. In particular, the beloved Blackberry – as pathetic as it is to admit, there was pain inside my blackened heart as I slowly unfurled my fingers from its black plastic shell for the last time. It wasn’t even a very nice model, but it was attached to me like a parasite/best-buddy, just like every lawyer/“crackberry” cliché. How will Dan and I go on without our morning so-yuppie-your-head-will-explode-from-the-yuppieness ritual of rolling over to check our respective ‘berries nestled on our respective bedside tables the second our eyes open to the sun? I’ll be so left out, and will have to trek all the way upstairs to the real computer to find out who wrote on my Facebook wall during the night or which clothing store is having 20% off final sale plus free shipping. The agony!

My yuppie card is so revoked now that I no longer put the “P” in Young Urban Professional. And we’re no longer DINKs – Double Income No Kids – since we’re no longer double income. Oh dear heavens, we're OINKs! Which sounds about right since I do an awful lot of loafing and eating these days … you know, soap opera watching, popping bon-bons and what-not. If I'm no longer a true yuppie-DINK does that give me sudden Southie street cred? Why do I think not ... pretty sure that ladies who wear argyle sweaters and pearls on a regular (daily?) basis aren't going to pass as tough locals no matter how underemployed.

But seriously, something has to be done about this sudden lack of mobile internet/phone device. Maybe I’ll surprise myself and after a few days of intense withdrawal (dude, its been about 4 hours and it feels like I'm missing an arm and the gaping hole where my arm used to be is infected and and sort of itchy) and decide I’m better off unchained from the internet outside of the house. Or maybe I’ll get a new job (are you there God? It’s me, Christina …) and I’ll be issued another as an employment tool (read: life tool). Or maybe my birthday is in two months and if I make it until then a) still wanting one and b) not employed by a Blackberry-providing establishment someone will know just what to get me for the big 2-7 in April.